A little recap of January

This is another fo' real blog post.  It's a summary of the last few weeks which flew by yet still not fast enough.

Starting right off with a bang.I went to a friend's agent's holiday party. Yes. Holiday party in February. Who cares. Post holiday party then. Whatever.  It was at a restaurant called Elmo's. I thought, really, how bad could it be? It's named after a little red monster? Jacket...stolen.  Yup gone. Spent 30 minutes trying to find it among all the other coats.  Someone clearly took mine thinking it was theirs. How stupid are you? Reach in the pockets? Is that your stuff? So I walk home, cold.  Left my name and a description in case someone brought it back.  I got a call that night that someone found it. So I go early Tuesday morning to pick it up and...wrong one.  A) it's black not grey. B) it's 2 sizes too big. Which makes me wonder about the person who took mine. Surely they noticed it didn't fit?

I also just finished working with quite possibly the most unprofessional company ever.  Despite disagreements, despite not getting along, despite childishly pointing fingers and blame at other people, and despite harassing the cast via emails, the good of the show should ALWAYS be put first.  We're here to tell a story and share something with complete strangers.  The magic of theater.  But sadly sometimes people lose site of that and allow personal feelings to cloud their already hazy judgement.

But it's over and done with.  This post has been a long time coming because I keep going back and forth about how to describe the horrible way  in which we were all treated.  It'll sound like me ranting.  Which, hey, it's my blog. I can do that right?  And especially when people from both productions that were running sought me out to complain and look for some sort of help in dealing with the shenanigans.

What company doesn't do a photo call?  An iPhone pic doesn't count because, well...the camera sucks for theater and low light. But yay. We took a picture.

There are just so many poorly run companies out there that need someone to come in and set them right.  There needs to me Theater Company Nightmares hosted by Gordon Ramsey.  After he straightens it out he can cook them all an amazing meal.

I'm reminded of my mentor's advice to me, "Don't move to NY looking to do something better by starting your own company. Trust me, you'll want to.  Don't.  Go there thinking, how can I make you better by joining you." There are too many poor/bad theater companies because the talent is stretched way too far. And there is no accountability in Indie theater.

Best piece of direction though ever..."do it like a musical."  Oh how I cringed.  But smiled through the pain.  That's akin to saying, do it like Shakespeare.  No no. It should be ..."do it.  Naturally.  As your character would."

I must admit this is a bridge I willingly blew up.  There is a lack of ability to stand back and observe, objectively what is going on. That's dangerous in theater. Or anywhere.  That's the stuff that makes tyrants.  So run from this I did.
We're still being harassed post show and that is not acceptable.

I've never tried to make excuses for my failures or successes.  I've never said this effected me so I couldn't get where I needed to go.  After being hounded by the artistic director, called names, lied to, bullied, I realized that all he did was hurt my performance. I struggled with lines, with emotions, with connecting because I had put this wall of distaste up.

Jeff, my Captain, O, Captain. How do I use that?!  But the end of this week I finally gave in, said fuck it. Didn't care.  And I just played. If I screwed up a line, oh well. I'll fix it.  And I was working with some of the most talented and resilient actors.  They were so supportive and on their game.  I would have quit completely but how could I do that to them?

We did get some champagne on closing.  Which I think it was just poetic justice that I grabbed the broken cup.  But can you say too little too late?

And you know what? It's over. I have Romeo and Juliet to look forward to with American Globe.  Which is a real company. Run by people who care about their actors.