How to bomb an audition

Some days nothing goes right. Things you think you're good at and have a fair amount of confidence in just fall apart.  Today was one of those days.  One of the auditions I've been looking forward to for months was today.  And boy was it an experience.  Possibly the only good thing was that AEA was EMPTY today.  completely empty. Save for ASC of course.

If you want to completely and utterly bomb an audition, just do the exact opposite of what I did and you're sure to knock it out of the park.

I had the privilege of auditioning for ASC, the American Shakespeare Center in Staunton Virginia.

Nice lookin' logo for sure.  Makes you want to work there right?  I know, me too.  So let's see.  What exactly happened.  I'll break it down.

I submitted to the theater.  twice.

Once last fall post auditions because I just wanted my information out there and then again this summer when I saw the notice go out in backstage like a good little classical actor.

I waited...

And received the phone call and email!  Woohoo they were inviting me in.  Most Excellent.  I looked over the information and was very pleased with the way they handle auditions.  They hold group auditions. Everyone in the room together.  You get up, do your monologue in front of everyone, then they hand out sides to quickly poor over and then perform, and then if you have any musical talent..play on.  Some people abhor group auditions like this.  But I feel like I flourish in them.  I much prefer to have people there to play off of rather than you and an auditor scribbling notes while you stare at a spot on the wall.

I have several pieces ready to go, but upon reading the information they provided it seems they would prefer you used a speech from one of the plays in the season.  So I spent time memorizing something that spoke to me. 

LESSON 1:

ALWAYS TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS

My instincts were to use one of the pieces I already have in my actor utility belt.  I felt it would be better to use a piece from one of the season's shows like they preferred, but turns out that didn't matter.  Many people used pieces from other shows.  And my piece was weak.  Not to mention I had to restart once and did that awkward pause dramatically while you search for the word you lost and hope no one notices but everyone notices and it's painful.  You know what I'm talking about.

The next part of the audition went pretty good. At least I feel it did.  I'm fairly good with cold readings and I'm also fairly familiar with Two Gents, so when I was given a side from Two Gents and asked to read the servant Speed I was delighted.  We got laughs.  My audition partner was excellent (also he got a call back so I like to feel like I had some hand in that.  You're welcome friend.  You're welcome.)  They gave us a ton of sides to look over prior to the auditions and this might be the one place where I truly was prepared and went over all of them.

LESSON 2:

ALWAYS PREPARE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE

The sides were extensive. They covered all the plays from the season and you can bet I read them over multiple times.  (secretly hoping I'd get a comic side as I read them)  It's the one aspect of the audition I felt confident in.  That and when I handed in my headshot.  I did a pretty good job with that too.

The last part of the audition is the music section.  Not required, but  if you can play an instrument and or sing then they encourage it.  If you can't play or sing well, don't.  Now I don't sing that great, but I do play guitar well.  So I figured I'd do a fun little song and show off my strummin' and to a song that I could sing effectively.  The theme song from the big bang theory. It's perfect.  Short and sweet, fun chords and picking and fun lyrics.  Well first off, there were 5 guitars in the room.  Skill wise I was on the higher end.  So that made me feel good.  Oh and a flute. A friend of mine brought in her flute and she was amazing.  Actors have so many skills you just never know about. (Heather you played beautifully!)  I however had to freakin restart my song. multiple times.  In fact I never got through it all the way without messing up.

LESSON 3:

DON'T SIKE YOURSELF OUT

I practiced the song.  I watch the show.  I know it.  Music is easy to memorize. (as is verse, but I'm just lame).  But first I couldn't remember the lyrics.."Our whole universe was just big hot mess?" No wait.  That's me in this audition right now.  Let me start over.  Still not getting it.  So I polled my fellow auditioners...what the hell is that line? GOT IT. I tried again..screeched out something.  I kept screwing up and finally just ended the verse with..'Big Bang' and let the G chord ring true.  So that was not fun. Or a good representation of what I can do.

It was just a sad sad mess. For something I've been waiting a while to attend and hopefully land the job, I blew it.  Unless they play the..he's got moxie, did great with the sides, and made everyone laugh and kept going card...I will not be working at ASC this season.  In the end I did it to myself.  I cannot blame anyone else for my craptastic display of skill and talent with verse and lyrics.  

I'm just trying to make myself remember that there will always be another audition.  Sure wasn't the end of my career or anything.  It just sucks when you know you're not going to be getting something you really wanted (like the ASC gig, or any other gig).  When I don't get cast I usually don't care as long as I did well. I was just so incredibly embarrassed today.  I'll get over it and move on.  If anything, when I crash and burn like this it inspires me to work even harder.  Bring on even more early morning calls at AEA!  And now to watch some videos of the muppets to make me laugh....Movin' right along indeed.

A Month! It's been a month!

What the hell?  It's been well over a month since I last posted.  Surely I haven't been that busy?  Truth is, I haven't been too busy to write.  I should have been.  But I get so caught up in projects that some things tend to slip to the way side.  No, not slip, not fall...plummet.

So a month, what has been going on?  Well auditions.  Lots of auditions.  Some I didn't even submit for so it's a good thing to be called in by a company that's seen your work right?  (Yes I'm completely patting myself on my back) Lots of Shakespeare.  He's big I hear.  And yesterday I auditioned for Beautiful Soup theater company.  I haven't heard of them before but their organization in setting up the auditions was amazing.  So based on that of course I'd audition.  I love auditioning.  It's a small performance unto itself and it's usually really quick in and out.  The thing I hate about auditioning?  The people trilling their lips next to me as they "warm up" and the opera singers warbling in the rooms around me.  Oh Shetler Studios, you need to invest in some sound proofing.  Great audition though.  I took some adjustments they gave me to a perhaps over-used Wilde monologue and executed them to laughter.  Then was giving sides to read.....which I know not everyone was given.  So woohoo.  Now I was called in for Torvald in A Doll's House.  It certainly depends on how they cast Nora.  I think I may be in the running, but it will all come down to casting.

In other news 25 Cents for Love has been occupying most of my time.  For starters we're on IMDB! Clearly we're legit!  I've been spending the last month fully researching film festivals and submitting like crazy.  It's a lot more work than I thought it would be.  But every time those discs leave my hand and head out to the post office I get such a wonderful feeling of accomplishment.  Something we made is headed out to potentially wow audiences (fingers crossed).  So in all honesty this month has been insanely busy between auditions and film festivals.  And lastly:

I've been working on this funding campaign through kickstarter to help raise funds.  Apparently film festivals are expensive.  The link to the campaign is HERE.  We are in the last hours of it.  So far we've raised $100 OVER our goal, but every little bit counts.  So if you're reading this today...check it out and pass it on.

Anyone who donates now gets one of these nifty Buttons!  Just sayin...

What would your ultimate Role be?

I've been asked this question several times now.  A few times at auditions, and a few interviews.  I'm not sure how I would have answered this 10 years ago, or even 5, but the more I sit down with it the stronger my answer becomes.  So basically:

What would your ideal role be, how would you like to ideally see your career unfolding?

So for me?  I would love to have a career on a scifi show, or film.  Or series of films.  I grew up a big fan of scifi. Yes yes, I was that little trekker who remembers standing in line for Star Trek IV.  And in fact I think that show had a stronger impact on my youth than Star Wars.  Which I came to after my discovery of Kirk's ship.  So I'm a fan.  Big deal.  Why would I want a career in this genre?  Because its such a small world.  A very tight knit family.  How many times do you watch a show within the genre and think...woa, that's so-and-so from that other show?  Let's look at one of my favorite SciFi Actors...Jewel Staite.  Personally I think she is one of the most adorable people out there.  And a huge fan of food.  Yeah.  Food.  Just food.  I love food too.  So bam..something in common.  But with Jewel I feel like every time I turn around she's in another show I love and watch.

HER!  

So let me see how this played out.  I may have "discovered" her on Flash Forward.  You remember?  Zaney kids show from the mid 90's.  It was one of those shows I watched because I kept thinking...I can do that.  That's me!  But alas, I wasn't cast.  We're also close in age, so I've kinda grown up with her. (which also makes me mad cause look where she is being 3 years younger than me.  grr)  This is becoming an article about the life and times of Miss Staite and not an answer to the question.  I'll continue.  So Firefly of course.  And in tern Serenity.  Then she popped up in Stargate Atlantis.  And I love me some Stargate.  (of which I thank and curse my best friend for.  She opened my eyes to it) Then I backtracked a bit and started watching Dead Like Me..thank you hulu and bam..Jewel Staite.  Poppin' in to say hello.  Then it was an ep of Warehouse 13, and then the film Call Me Mrs. Miracle.  My point being with all this...look at all the work shes done and most of it within this genre.  I could list more.  Like her Stargate compatriots Ben Broweder and Claudia Black who prior to that were in Farscape together.  Or honestly anyone. Anywhere that has ever done SciFi.  

The community just embraces these actors. And the studios, and the casting directors.  I think they start to see them as SciFi actors and so of course head in that direction.  And without sounding like a douche (much like an actor on the subway earlier today who will be the subject of an entire blog post possibly tomorrow) I think the fan support is amazing.  To have that many people behind you?  Amazing.  Look at all the Star Trek fans that rallied to name the first Space Shuttle the Enterprise.

So that's my answer and a brief-ish why.  I'd love to be a part of that community and that world.  And I would love to give back to that world that fed so many of my childhood dreams.  

So now dear readers I pose the same question to you?  What Role would be your ideal role, or how would you like your career to unfold?

FringeNYC 2011 Reviews, Welcome to Eternity

So we're down to 1 performance.  That's it.  Then this whole crazy theater festival of awesomeness comes to a close. At least for my crew and I. There are still some shows I need to see and friends I need to support.  I did see the big namer..Yeast Nation, brought to you by the same folks that are responsible for Urine Town.  It was good.  Really good.  I was entertained throughout the entire 2.5 hours.  That's a lot for me.  I'm not huge on the musicals, so if one can entertain me for so long then they're doing something right.


I wanted to throw this up there.  It's our shining faces from the home page of Nytheatre.com when they posted our review...

So with Fringe truckin' along I thought I'd share some of the reviews that have come out.  The first one, and the main one for the fringe is through NYtheatre.com.  The are the only publication that I know of that aims to and succeeds at reviewing all shows in the Fringe Fest. every year.  They do this by hiring a gaggle of freelance writers and set the loose upon the city.  Now these could be peers, actual critics, freelance writers, or just anyone with a pen.  Luckily for the most part all are in the Theater world in some way so can objectively write about a show they've seen.  Our reviewer wrote an excellent article, loved our show, and loved the work Mary and I did.  This season I have been a little out of it with reviews and tickets and all that.  I've had way more to worry about with all these freakin lines!  It's a 2 person show that runs about an hour 20.  A lot of work has gone into this and a lot of spit has flown out of my mouth.  So it's with great pride that I present the nytheatre review.  Well...a snippet....

Saldarelli's dialogue is sharp, snappy, and fun and flows perfectly out of the mouths of Mary Schneider and Patrick Pizzolorusso. Schneider and Pizzolorusso share a nice rhythm and chemistry on stage and are on point with Saldarelli's quick, witty script. Pizzolorusso is hilariously neurotic and quirky as Patrick—he shines when he takes us through his plans for his graphic novel. Schneider is adorably charming and intelligent as Amanda: you can see the moments where she deftly switches from being lovingly supportive of Patrick's ideas, when she's being obligatorily patronizing, and when she truly has no clue what he's talking about. Schneider is wonderful in her "interrogation scene" as she tries desperately to stay on task of how she's read an interrogation is supposed to go, but is constantly derailed by her own sweetness and Patrick's disarming quality. Laura Konsin Shortt's staging makes great use of space and distance, creating great tension between the bride- and groom-to-be. If Welcome to Eternity lacks anything, it's earlier physical establishment of their love and intimacy for each other. It took awhile before I really felt these two loved each other deeply and had a connection (though perhaps this was part of the point), which perhaps could have been helped with a few small moments of physical contact early on or a little bit more intimacy in the opening dialogue.


Click here to read the full review


 Another review came from Linda at PataphysicalScience...the blog.  She had wonderful things to say about both the show and my acting last year and so I was delighted to hear she was attempting to see our show this year.  Which she liked!  It's of course a very different farce, but she was entertained.  And I'm thrilled to have been able to meet her face to face as opposed to virtually knowing each other. So hooray for new friends. And supportive new friends.  Her article is an overview review (sure I just made that up) about the play as a whole.  I could put excerpts but they wouldn't make sense out of context.  So here is a link to her blog.
Give her a follow if you're a blogger, or add her to your reader.  Something.  She's a pretty strong voice in the theater world here in NYC.  You know, she gets around.

Click here to read the full article

Alright.  So one more show to go and then we're done.  Unless we get Encores like last year.  But two years in a row?  We couldn't be that lucky.  And I think there are far more musicals this year.  So our little engagement play might be eeked out.

Who knows

Indiana Jones Work out

I HATE RUNNING!  HATE IT.  But gotta do something to keep in some kinda shape.  Right? It's supposed to be one of the best exercises for you, save for swimming.  But where am I going to swim in NYC.  Granted it's raining right now, but that's not the same. And this past week I've been soaked enough by the rain that I don't feel like running in it.  So I've been trying to find ways to keep myself entertained on the treadmill.

Sure they have t.v.'s attached to them, but I have yet to figure out how to change the channel.  Every time I attempt it it just goes to static.  Which isn't fun.  And then of course I can't get it back to a broadcast.  I've started bringing my ipod in. These fancy schmancy treadmills allow you to plug in your ipod and listen to your own music.  Sure you can do that without plugging in, but this way the ipod controls are past of the treadmill screen.  No fumbling with a sexy ipod to change songs or whatever.  So anyway, I tried doing the whole music thing and it's still unbearably boring to freakin run!  I can't do it. I get so distracted by everything.  People walking into the gym, playing with the incline (which is kinda fun for a few seconds but then you realize you're running up a mountain practically and people around you are staring) So..I discovered that you can play your videos on the screen on the treadmill.  Win!

So I tried to a few tv shows.  The problem with it is there is music being played at the gym itself.  So it's in the background.  Which makes watching shows difficult.  But then I thought.  What if I put on a movie I'm extremely familiar with. I tried Stargate, but it's too quiet dialogue wise and while there is action to keep me motivated, it's not all through out.  Then it dawned on me...Indiana Jones.  He runs and fights and jumps and get's the girl, and fights some more...this could be perfect!

I tried Raiders first but there is an aweful lot of down time in the middle of the movie action wise.  It you want a short work out.  It's great.  If you want a longer one I recommend Temple.

So here are the rules.  Whenever Indy is running, fighting, pretty much moving fast?  you kick it up and run your freakin heart out.  When he takes a breather, you know to kiss the girl, figure out a map..whatever?  slow it down to a walk.

So here is a break down.
Raiders of the Lost Ark:
Start out with a nice brisk walk as Indy is headed to the Jungle Temple In Peru.
Keep this pace until he recovers the fertility Idol.  Once you hear the rumbling? Start a runnin'
It's a good little wake me up until he dives out of the temple and crashes into Belloq.
You get a breather here.
Take off again until you take off in the plane and keep running until the movie pics back up at the college.
This is why this work out is a little light.  There isn't much until The Cantina scene in Nepal where we find Marion. (whiskey...)
This is a break until the chase scene in the market.  I stretch it out too and go until Indy is pulled away from Belloq by Sallah's children. ALL of his freakin kids.
Then we have a nice break really until the Well of the Souls.  And this then begins a long run.  Starting from the moment the Well is sealed to the fight with the bald German all the way to the end of the chase scene where Indy takes a moment to address his bullet wound.
Honestly that's about it unless you want to run some more at the opening of the ark.

Temple of Doom
This one I feel starts off a bit more energetic.  So it's probably a matter of how fast you want to start off.
So we start off fairly quickly with running at the openning.  You can slowly build speed, but the whole openning scene with Willy's dance number going into the fight at the club and ending on the plane is a nice brisk run.
You can slow down here while they leisurely fly away from Lao Che.
Once the pilots bail out, time to increase your speed again until that life saving yellow raft runs ashore.
I'm tellin ya, this one is more consistent with being more physical.  Now we break though for some much needed exposition and then head to Pankot Palace.  (you can jog this route if you like but I'm lazy, so walk it I do)
There is a fair amount of a break here until after dinner.
Beginning with Indy being attacked in his room and going all the way to them being captured after the Thuggee union meeting is a great run.
Slow it down a bit and walk or jog if you prefer until Short Round begins his escape from the mines.
This can be done at your speed, it's basically one long action sequence going all the way through to the mine cart chase and then slowing down on the bridge.
This is why I say this one is a bit more rigorous. Indy really gets the crap beat out of him and so will you.
Then of course the fight on the broken rope bridge with Mola Ram falling to his death.

And there you have it. The Indiana Jones work out.

What's this have to do with my acting journey?  Well exercise is a big part of it, right?  Being in shape?  Being healthy.  This is my attempt to trick myself into having fun while doing something I find menial and boring and for the most part, a chore.

I can say so far it's working out just fine for me.  I'm also the person who can't get enough of Indiana Jones, so I'll happily watch them over and over again.  And who cares that I can't really hear all the dialogue...I have most of it memorized anyway from years of viewings.

Continuing my streak of meeting horrid people and Rehearsing!

Dustin' off some cobwebs here.  I feel like I've been on the go non stop for the past week or two.  Which is true.    I feel like my schedule is slowly drowning me.

Rehearsals have been hot and heavy as we head up to opening night...FRIDAY! I really feel like the Fringe festival is one of the things NYC has over other cities in the world of theater.  This year I believe there are 191 shows going on simultaneously over the next two weeks.  There is so much theater in this city year round, but during these 2 weeks It's a crazy roller coaster ride of new and experimental works.  I love being a part of that energy.  And being a part of the festival just automatically puts you in touch with artists from all over creating work from so many varied points of view.  It's like a big theater convention.  It also means marathon days.

Like today.  Today was tech day which was scheduled from 12:45 to 4.  But it started earlier getting all the props and costumes and minor set pieces to the theater. Tech is...tech.  Long, boring.  With Fringe it's often times the first time a show is run in the space.  And usually the only time with lights and sound before the opening.  Gotta love a festival. Then we had a short break and went over notes and did a line through on book.  Yes, on book.  Both of us reading.  It's amazing what you think is the line and what it actually is.  After a month of rehearsing you memorize things slightly off. Oops. So now tomorrow is about going over line by line and getting perfect to the letter.  Another run tomorrow night then We open.

Some how, tomorrow while I'm going over those lines, I'm also supposed to be filming the rest of the Lavazza Coffee commercial. We were rained out.  Torrential down pour in Manhattan this past Tuesday.  We managed to film half and, well...act of the gods and all that.  So..we finish tomorrow.  Always on the go.  I will say this..holy hell the Greenwich Village Bistro is a HORRIBLE place.  A film crew, actors and actresses, equipment, costumes..slowly getting soaked in the rain come in.  We ask if we can sit and wait it out.  The "owner" (I'm sure the little troll who was there isn't the owner) was the most evil, vile, hate spitting creature I've ever come across.  I had to leave after her negative words got to be too much.  Basically talking under her breath how horrible we all were for sitting in there and getting her floor wet.  Yes she actually complained that were were ruining her hard wood floor that was...old and falling apart.  Water will only help the filth I think.  At one point she counted everyone and said loudly.."13 people and only 4 ordered food.  Ridiculous."

It's freakin raining you toad.  I will never eat there.  Nor will I suggest it to anyone I know.  What is wrong with people.  Heat, rain, doesn't matter.  They're all evil.

Now I'm off to bed.  Or slowly going to fade off.  8 am call time.  I'm using Star Trek Enterprise to put me to sleep.  Why is this show so BAD!!!!!!

The 12 year old Trekker inside me is slowly dying with each episode.

No MTA you cannot keep me down..for too long

The past week has been insanely busy.  But in that good "i'm getting called in for things" kinda way.

Lot's of good stuff though.  First a question.  Why does the subway always smell like poop?  Oh, cause there is a t-shirt covered in it just outside the entrance.  Ah..summer in the city.

Speaking of the subway, we'll start with yesterday.  Now, it normally takes me about 20 minutes to get to Shetler on 54th or the Ripley Grier between 55th and 56th.  20 minutes.  So lets see...I had an audition yesterday afternoon and the trains were running at their usual woa-woa-lets-not-be-too-hasty-with-our-speed-here.  You learn to compensate.  Made it to the audition ok then back home to relax.  (which is where I discovered the poop shirt at Times Square)  So my evening.  Audition at 5, meeting my scene partner (co-star? can you say co-star for a 2 person show) at 6, rehearsal at 7.  Soo...I leave and get on the Subway at 4:30.  To give myself enough time to get to Shetler and read the sides and go in.  Well the MTS vomitted all over my plans.  The train stopped..between stops...for over 30 minutes.  Had to transfer to another train that took me to times square. And of course the entire population of Manhattan Island is now trying to catch a train to somewhere, anywhere.  So I leave the station and hoof it to meet Mary..Co-Star.  6:15. From 4:30-6:15 i'm on a train.  Missed my audition and was seriously shoulder checked by this steroid-filled gorilla who I of course call out and yell at in front of the Starlight Diner.  Busy ass city, it's hot, clearly people are pissed...you're going to be an asshole?  So I called him that.  Over and over and over.  Sometimes I'm either an idiot or fearless.  I prefer fearless.  He turned around and I said, "Be Nice! What's wrong with you? A city this big in rush hour and you have to be a dick?  Just be nice!" and i was off to meet Mary.

The good news is I'm alive and last night's run went really well.  I assume it was all that crazy energy of trying to maneuver the subway.

Then we get to today.  My agent sent me on a microsoft commercial.  The only info I get is that the character is stuck in the 70's.  I assume 1970's and not the age.  Now 70's to me immediately brings up images of bell bottoms, something militaristic, fade graphic tee's.  Something ala That 70's show

So I get there and apparently their idea of "70's" is more like Larry from Three's Company or Quagmire from Family Guy.  oops.  I still feel I nailed the audition.  I was given a few adjustments and I did them to the best of my ability...I hope.  And then on to the next. Which was for Lavazza Coffee and guess who is filming this Sunday possible filming not just 1, but 2 commercials for the coffee Lavazza!  I met with the production team today and it was a perfect match.  So it's been a good few days of adventure and tomorrow is venue prep day for the fringe followed by a showing of our show at Columbia.
...I need sleep.